I am the one who gave too much, who loved too much. I am the one who gave, and then gave some more; in hopes that the fallen will recover from their pains, their follies. Calamities. I am the one who gave to those who wish to be taken care of. Cradled. Rescued. I am the one who gave to those who give little in return; who slurp the energy of others, ride the wave of their aspirations, profit from their endeavors.
I am the one who felt guilty if thoughts of withdrawal even crossed her mind. Who gave a second chance. And a third. The sufferers might recover. Might reform. Their selfish ways would turn benevolent, someday. They will enlighten, open their eyes, and issue forth a wide smile. And they will be someone to lean on in times of trouble, won’t they?
I am the one who learned the hard way. And one lesson was not nearly enough. Buckets of ice water were splashed onto her face, again and again; by friends, family, lovers. Even former lovers. Even former lovers who were the ones to leave her.
I am the one who no longer gives to those who merely take
I am the one who no longer gives without receiving her fair share