Giving

I am the one who gave too much, who loved too much.  I am the one who gave, and then gave some more; in hopes that the fallen will recover from their pains, their follies.  Calamities.  I am the one who gave to those who wish to be taken care of.  Cradled.  Rescued.  I am the one who gave to those who give little in return; who slurp the energy of others, ride the wave of their aspirations, profit from their endeavors.

         I am the one who felt guilty if thoughts of withdrawal even crossed her mind.  Who gave a second chance.  And a third.  The sufferers might recover.  Might reform.  Their selfish ways would turn benevolent, someday.  They will enlighten, open their eyes, and issue forth a wide smile.  And they will be someone to lean on in times of trouble, won’t they?

           I am the one who learned the hard way.  And one lesson was not nearly enough.  Buckets of ice water were splashed onto her face, again and again; by friends, family, lovers.  Even former lovers.  Even former lovers who were the ones to leave her.  

I am the one who no longer gives to those who merely take

I am the one who no longer gives without receiving her fair share