What's wrong, Lydia, the
hunter's wife?
Sitting alone in front of
the hearth,
a sock and needle in your
lap,
staring at the fire,
shadows of its flames
dancing on the walls of
your one-room home.
Your husband, the hunter,
is not home tonight,
as many nights before.
He shall return in a few
days
with a deer or two splayed
cold on his horses,
and chilly air will enter
the house with him.
Will you offer him a warm
cheek,
as you have done since many
years back,
when you thought life
begins here, far from home,
with this broad-shouldered
man, whose words are few,
yet his touch is tender,
and his lips are seeking.
Does routine nibble at you, Lydia,
after twenty years of waiting?
And your hopes are seeping
out
as plans to add a nursery
are nearly forgotten.
Perhaps you will rise at
once—
wash the floors,
shine the silverware, light
the candles,
while humming a tune that
rocks
like the waves in their
tranquil hour.
You will wear your dark
wool-coat
and leave the house for
fresh air, flooded
with dreams: travel far
away,
visit exciting places,
discover new people.
Or you might return to your
hometown on the coast,
where your parents are
growing old
in a large house filled
with numerous rooms and books.
But you can still remember
how you detested
the sounds and smells of
the city,
and your longing for the
serene lands of the prairie,
which is now your home.
Wrapped in your cloak, you
briskly cross the frozen field,
glancing at the
longstanding couple of leafless trees at the far edge of your land,
as you always do when
riding the wagon on the road going up to the village.
You turn away from your
home and walk fast,
your heavy grey dress
sweeping the ground,
raising small clouds of
glittering dust.
Then you abruptly stop to
look back.
Why are you standing there,
Lydia, the hunter's wife?
Who are you glaring at,
what do you see?
You are all alone here.
The night is empty,
the fields are sitting
barren in the cold.
Is it me you are staring
at?
(This is impossible, I
think to myself)
I am not a part of this
tale, I say to Lydia.
Go, go on your way.
But she persists; her wild
eyes dig into my mind,
her towering figure leans
forward.
Surprised, I find myself
shivering in the slicing
wind,
in this foreign land,
stumbling toward Lydia as
she turns on her heel
and renews her pace up the
road.
With a quickened pulse and trembling legs
I follow her.
But her steps are wide and
confident,
and she soon becomes
one with the dark.
At once, I am all alone in
a night full of shadows,
glancing around in hopes of
rescue.
In this vacant, quiet
place.
Down the road sits the
house of Lydia and her husband, the hunter.
The wind’s sharp claws dig
into my skin.
Choiceless, I turn toward
the light,
enter the warm log cabin,
close the door to leave
the night behind,
and approach the hearth.
On the chair in front of
it, a sock and needle.
I pick them up, place them
in my lap,
and hold out my palms
to the flames—listening
to the chatter of consumed
wood.
I examine the sock in my
lap; not keen on sewing,
what shall I do with this
needle?
I look about:
to one corner, a small
table
set with two chairs.
Dishes and books neatly
stacked on sturdy shelves.
At the room’s other side:
an oval braided rug over the wide-planked floor,
a wide bed, soft blankets
covering white linen.
I add logs to the dying
fire,
lean back in the chair and
watch the
frolicking flames.
Then rise to my feet and walk to the bed.
Sink into the mattress.
It accepts me like a mother’s bosom.
I recognize:
this is my bed, these are my books,
and my husband, the hunter,
will soon enter our home.
His greying temples under my fingers, his neck
emanating intoxicating scents.
My fingers will slide with a feather-like touch
on skin roughed by summer sun and
the winds
that blow upon these open plains.
The logs crackle in the
hearth,
the flames are strong and
steady.
At last, I am warm.
I, Lydia.
A tale of barren marriage or a loveless marriage? Is there a difference, I am left to wonder in this crisp Iowa night. Thanks, Rinat.
ReplyDeleteTruly yours, Lydia.